One of the few German followers on my blog, Dirk from Sexyloser, posted a contribution (seldom enough but when then with high quality) that made me smile and my thoughts drifted back into the my very younger days. It depends to the nature of menkind all negative experiences they were made to fade out and to store in the very back corner of the brain. It is like a hidden chamber you normally don't want to enter. But sometimes like in this case you get your key and open this chamber.
While reading Dirks post I also had to think back to the time when I came to the puberty. It was the time in which one wanted (you know what I mean) and still had no plan to get it. Of course there were some guys they knew how to get it but it was impossible to copy them. Either they were better in sports or they looked much smarter (that's exactly what The Jam described in David Watts). Anyway, you had to go your own way and check out what makes you unique.
Okay, now back to my story: It was at the time when I started my education. Beside the real education in the company we had to visit for the theoretical education twice a week the trade school. One of my deficiencies at that time was, that I mostly have come too late to appointments. As usual I came also too late to the first teaching hour in trade school. There was only one free seat in the first row. So I sat down and I introduced me to the girl beside me. As far as I can remember her name was Doris. She was a pretty girl with shoulder-length brown hair and blue-green eyes. In the course of the next weeks we have made friends and have also arranged to meet several times. In the times before mobile phones and computers we sent us some letters and of course I made some tapes for her. Although she gave me with her smile some hope but it happened nothing more than some shy kisses. If I forced my intentions I always get stopped and don't know why. I got no explanation from her to my questions. I got the explanation a few days later when I saw her holding hands with another guy. That's a lesson I learned: don't have too much expectations into your aims. Of course I changed the seat in trade school.
I also didn't see her again after finishing my education. And I also don't know what happened to the tapes I made for her (and others). Presumably they were already thrown in the garbage but if not I would like to know if these persons will still listen to it.
Billy Bragg made a song in which he chanted exactly about these experiences.
Billy Bragg - Walk Away Renee
She said it was just a figment of speech
And I said, "You mean figure?"
And she said, "No, figment"
Because she could never imagine it happening
But it did.
When we first met I played the shy boy
And when she spoke to me for the first time
My nose began to bleed
She guessed the rest
The next day we went on a bus ride to the ferry
And when nobody came to collect our fares
Well, I knew then this was something special
I couldn't stop thinking about her
And every time I switched on the radio
There was somebody else singing a song about the two of us
It was just like being on a fast ride at the funfair
The sort you wanna get off because it?s scary
And then as soon as you?re off
You wanna get straight back on again
But our love is strange
And you have to take the crunchy with the smooth I s'pose
She began going out with Mr Potato Head
It was when I saw her in the car park
With his coat around her shoulders that I realized
I went home and thought about the two of them together
Until the bath water went cold around me
I thought about her eyes and the curve of her breasts
And about the point where their bodies met
I confronted her about it.
I said, "I?m the most illegible bachelor in town."
And she said, "Yea, that's why I can never understand
Any of those silly letters you send me."
And then one day it happened
She cut 'er hair and I stopped lovin' 'er